I have been having mixed emotions all the time. I want to be skinny, but I don't want to have an eating disorder. I am bulimic. Full Blown. It gets frustrating to have to think about food 24-7 but I just can't stop. I dream about binging and what I will binge on. Then when I start to eat healthy normal meals, I can't stop. So then I gain just 1 or 2 pounds and I freak out, so I start purging again. Ahh..the cycle of an ed.